Wedding Traditions not Working for You See How to Ditch a few

Here 10 Wedding Traditions That You Actually Can Abandon

Are you considering doing away with the old wedding traditions and doing something different? Maybe you were thinking of changing some of the old traditions for ones that were more your own? You’re not alone; many brides-to-be are opting for something simpler and more fun. Many of those traditions are time-honored and things our parents and grandparents did. But times change as they must and new traditions are being created that are more in step with couples today. It is about making your own traditions and being creative. Here are a few wedding traditions that can be skipped and suggestions for an alternative. Which ones do you agree with, and which ones would you ditch? Let us know in the comments below.

In this post, you will get ideas on:

The 10 Ways You Can Respectfully Break Away From Wedding Traditions...

1. The Bride's Veil

2. Not Seeing the Bride before the Wedding

3. White Wedding Dresses

4. Matching Bridesmaids Dresses

5. Matching Wedding Rings

6. Traditional Vows

7. The Three-tiered Wedding Cake

8. The Wedding Party

9. Taking The Husband's Last Name

10. Retrieving the Garter

1. The Bride’s Veil

The veil is an old tradition used mostly in arranged marriages. It has changed some over the years. It used to be all one length completely covering the bride. Some said it was to ward away evil spirits but it was mostly to keep anyone from seeing the bride until the last minute.

In the old days, marriages were arranged and all the wedding planning was done by the parents. The bride and groom never saw each other and often had no say in it. The veil was intended to keep her face hidden until the moment they were supposed to share a kiss. At this point the “I do’s” have already been said so there was no backing out if they didn’t like each other.

Alternative: Choose a princess tiara, Queen’s Crown, or a simple headband for this part.

2. Not Seeing the Bride Before the Wedding

This tradition goes along with the one above. There was less chance of either party getting “cold feet” and making a break for it. Not meeting before the wedding meant that if either party didn’t like the looks of the other it was too late to stop the ceremony. Arranged marriages were often done for convenience, status, and keeping the peace between neighboring kingdoms, not for love. If either party didn’t find the other attractive there was nothing that could be done.

Alternative: help each other get ready. Couples can layout each other’s attire after taking a bubble bath together.

Related: Wedding day Jitters...how to stay cool

3. White Wedding Dresses

The tradition of the white dress was a simple of the bride’s purity. Nowadays many people are on their second or third marriage, so the idea of being virginal is pretty much outdated. No one expects to be the only person their fiancé has ever had a relationship with. Related: ABSOLUTELY A RED CARPET MOMENT - WEDDING CEREMONY

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Alternative: It is all about style and looking stunning on your wedding day so you should choose whatever color you want for your wedding dress. If you love coral, pink, blush, or rose, the color should be what you like. Also, the length is optional as well. You do not have to have a floor-length dress with a train either. Choose a dress that is long, or short, it can even be a pantsuit/jumper something that fits the style you like. It’s about individual style and preference.

Related: Pop Of Color | Unconventional Wedding Attire

4. Matching Bridesmaid’s Dresses

This tradition stems from ancient times and has to do with warding off evil spirits that would disrupt the couple's happiness. Bridesmaid’s dresses are a sore subject with anyone who's been in a friend’s wedding party and had to wear a color that didn’t agree with them.

Alternative: you can choose to let bridesmaids wear whatever color they like, or choose two complementing colors and allow them to pick the one they prefer. You could also choose a neutral color and different styles; long, short, strapless, and etc.

Related: Bridesmaids' Dresses

5. Matching Wedding Rings

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The idea of matching rings was a symbol of the union. Couples would exchange matching rings as a symbol of their marriage and being “as one.” 

Alternative: if you want to ditch this one, the idea may be to design your own rings. Choose a beautiful waterfall diamond ring for her and something equally as nice for him. Break out of the thinking that the bands have to be a certain way and come up with your own ideas for a symbol of your love for each other. Hint: it doesn’t even have to be a ring.

6. Traditional Vows

Couples in the past used the traditional vows repeated by the Minister conducting the ceremony but this is an old rule and something can and should be updated to reflect the modern wedding ceremonies. Much of the language in the old vows tend to sound like “ownership” that many brides do not agree with. You have to remember that in some countries, marriage was a contract or a legal agreement between the two parties and not necessarily the expression of love that it was intended to be.

Alternative: you can choose to write your own vows. This is a very acceptable practice these days and doesn’t have to be very long. Just speak from your heart. Another option is to change the words such as “I do” can be changed to “I will”, and “Love, Honor, and Obey can be changed to “Love, Cherish, and Respect.” 

Related: Replace The Old Way Of Saying Your Vows For One Of These Unique Ideas 

7.  The Three-tiered Wedding Cake

The three-tiered wedding cake is a thing of the past. It was not uncommon for large weddings to have 200 guests and so a big cake was needed to serve everyone. But today, there are many things you can substitute for a smaller gathering or just to be different.

Alternative: a smaller layer cake, sheet cake, cupcakes, or even doughnuts. Make this tradition your own and choose whatever you like as a substitute for a big cake. Some couples choose cupcakes because they are the perfect serving size and do not require dishes or eating utensils, just a napkin.

Related: Wedding Cake Ideas

8. The Wedding Party

Since we have moved into the age of gender equality, many couples question whether to keep the old standard of the wedding party being all female or all male, or even to have one at all. This is your special day so you can decide how you want it to be. If you decide not to have a wedding party and just walk in together you can do that. In today’s society, it is perfectly acceptable to have a mixed wedding party if you choose to. 

9. Taking the Husband’s Last Name

This is another old tradition that a lot of couples are ditching. More brides are choosing to keep their maiden names as a way of retaining their individuality after getting married. In some cases, the grooms have taken the bride’s last name to be different.

10. Retrieving the Garter

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This is one of the least favorite traditions of many couples. It is rather embarrassing to have to sit on a chair in front of all of your wedding guests while your blindfolded groom retrieves the garter with his teeth and tosses it to the single men in the crowd. You can choose to skip this altogether or replace it with a tradition of your own such as requesting a special dance that brings all the singles out on the dance floor. They get a chance to meet others and it is a more modern way of wishing your single friends good luck.
Read: Doing away with the bouquet toss and retrieving the garter

Wedding Traditions not Working for You See How to Ditch a few

Back to You 

Weddings have always been about love and commitment, and that is still true today. The only thing that is changing is how you choose to celebrate your love for each other. Brides and grooms today are making their own traditions and creating a fun way to make it official for each other and their invited guests.

What do you think about wedding traditions? Do you think we should keep them, or start new ones? Which wedding traditions would you walk away from? Leave your comments in the comment section below. We’d love to hear what you think. If you need more wedding ideas we’ve got you covered.

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Meet Keren Michele! She's the creative force behind the content you see daily. A certified wedding planner and lead planner of K’Mich Event Planning & Consulting, she excels at crafting memorable weddings and events. Let her expert guidance make your dream day a reality.

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