RSVP Protocol: What to Do When a Guest Requests a Companion

In this post, you will get ideas

Crafting Your RSVP Protocol: Handling Companion Requests with Ease

The awkward “Plus 1” question comes up and you’re not sure how to respond. Should you allow guests to bring a date, or politely decline the request to bring an uninvited guest? This is an individual decision that will have an impact on your wedding planning in one way or another. Here are a few suggestions on what to say to keep the situation from becoming awkward.

In this post, you will learn:

2 Ways to Handle The Plus One Questions

1. Saying Yes to a Puls + 1

2. Declining Extra Guests

Creating a Compromise When It Comes to Your Decision

1. Is the Guest In a Relationship?

2. Are they Close Friends or Simply an Acquaintance?

3. Will they Know Anyone Else There?

Can I bring a plus one?

2 Ways to Handle The Plus One Question:

1. Saying Yes to a Plus One

If your gathering will be small with mostly friends and family there is no harm in allowing single friends or co-workers to bring a date. One of the best wedding planning tips we can offer is to calculate for a few extra guests when giving the caterer your guest count. It is always better to add an extra 10 guests to the list as a buffer to make sure you have enough food, drinks, and place settings to accommodate a few plus ones’. As a single person, it can be awkward going to events alone when everyone else has a partner.

Read: How to Accommodate Guests With Kids here

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2. Declining Extra Guests

There are sometimes when making allowances can be difficult, such as when you have a large wedding and have budgeted everything down to the last penny. If you have to say no due to costs just explain that you are not able to accommodate extra guests but there will be other people there that this person knows so they won’t feel alone or singled out. While this may be necessary when you have an extremely tight budget, you should be prepared for the fact that they might not show up.

Creating a Compromise When it Comes to Your Decision

If you’re not sure whether to say yes or no, you can make a list to determine the best answer to the can I bring a plus one question. It is similar to making a pros and cons list with situations where you might say yes or no. Some factors in your decision should be:

1. Is the guest is in a relationship?

If you know that your friend is in a committed relationship you can assume that they will want to bring this person with them. Couples who are dating seriously or living together should be included. You can just add their name to the invitation if you know it or give them a “plus one.”

Managing Colleagues While Planning Your Dream Wedding

2. Are they a close friend or simply an acquaintance? 

It is easier to say no to a casual acquaintance than it is to a close friend. You could allow it for someone you are close to. If you have a few people who were invited but are not able to attend you could allow plus ones for the number of declines only. If you have 3 people who can’t come you could tell guests that you only have 3 extra seats and no more.

3. Will they know anyone else there?

If you know for sure that there will be other people there that this person knows and can socialize with you can comfortably say no to an extra guest for a co-worker or casual friend knowing that they will not feel like the Lone Ranger they will have others to talk to.

Read: How to make sure your single wedding guests don't feel awkward

Wedding Etiquette - RSVP: When a Guest Asks For A Plus One 

Back to You

Wedding etiquette normally dictates that married couples, and those in committed relationships (living together) always get a plus one. You could allow extra guests only for your wedding party because they will most likely be your closest friends anyway.

We’d like to hear your opinion on the topic. Please leave a comment in the comment section and tell us what you think about the “plus one” question or share how you handled the situation at your wedding. 

Check out other pages on our blog for more wedding ideas and wedding planning tips for new brides-to-be.
Related: Wedding Toast Etiquette - How to do it and not fumble

About the author: Keren Michele, CEP, leads the planning team at K’Mich Event Planning & Consulting. With a flair for creativity in organizing one-of-a-kind weddings and events, she is passionate about providing valuable ideas for couples as they plan their special day.

P.S. - Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways we can help you with your wedding planning. Phone consultation: These are thirty minutes long and focus on asking you questions about what you hope to achieve for your wedding soirée. Wedding Day Management [Day-of Coordination] Couples can utilize this service for last-minute planning or to tie up loose ends.  Partial Wedding Planning: This is for the couple who wants to maintain control of the wedding but need a little help with bringing  everything together.

Updated: May 30, 2024