The Ultimate Top 3 Things To-Do-List for A Happy Marriage
Guest blogger, Donna shares her tips on marriage.
This picture was taken of my husband Dwight and I about a year after we were married in 1994 at my Church’s Banquet. As you can see, we were young then.
Here are some tips from an old married Woman (Dwight & I will be married 25 years this November 2018), as to what you may encounter after your first year of marriage and you’ve settled into your new lives together:
During the first year of marriage, you are adjusting to some of the following:
(They may seem frivolous, but it’s the little problems that can creep up and become BIG problems if you let them go and don’t take heed or discuss):
In this post, you’ll get ideas on:
The To-Do-List For The First Year Of Marriage
1. The Newlyweds and Children
I would suggest to any newly married couple NOT to have children right away, especially since the two of you are just getting adjusted to each other and trying to make it work. I would suggest discussing together how many children you want BEFORE marriage, as in "Pre-Marital Counseling" and how many years apart you want them to be, but I really would suggest maybe having children the 2 nd – 3 rd year of your marriage. When both of you are settled in, you can think of a game plan such as, HOW are you going to raise your children, what schools will they go to, etc? Very important!
2. The Newlywed's guide to physical intimacy - Date Night
Even couples who have been married awhile NEED A DATE NIGHT! And the two of you just being married for a year, need to still DATE! So, pick a day, time, place and frequency for your special time together alone but out in public. You two might want to take in a movie, go to a restaurant, or just take a walk in the park as my husband and I do weekly! A walk in the park is GREAT and it’s free. We still hold hands after almost 25 years of marriage and we are still VERY much in love with each other! And you must still keep the home fires burning!
3. The Newlyweds - His and Her Habits
After about the first year of wedded bliss, you will see exactly who you married as your spouse’s habits, whether good or bad (to YOU ) will be evident. For instance, Before you were married, you basically did what YOU wanted and What made YOU happy. Now that you are married, everything Changes! And it’s Not just YOU now, but US !
For example, my husband squeezes the toothpaste from the bottom and I squeeze from the top! Little things like that, but YOU will see differences in each other, as I said in my previous blog post, that “ men are from Mars and women are from Venus ” ! And no two people, even twins are Alike! So, YOU must adjust to your husband’s habits and vice-versa.
Another example is sleeping in the same bed at night. Depending on where the two of you live, say, if you live in Florida, where it is mostly warm or hot all the time, good for you! But here in Philly, where we have the seasons, I get cold easily and he gets hot easily and that’s a problem... He is a wild sleeper and takes all the covers, which I hate so I have an extra sheet/blanket at night when this happens! And that’s what Marriage is – two imperfect people who love each other, living in an imperfect world trying to make it work! But YOU get my point!
Intriguing: What Happens When You Say Your Vows In Front Of Different People

For reference, please check out the following books on Marriage:
Willard F. Harley, Jr.
“Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desire; The Respect He Desperately Needs” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage” – Milan & Kay Yerkovich
I hope this gives YOU , an inkling of what it takes in YOUR first year of marriage to make it work!
Donna Haymes, Guest Blogger
Related: (previous post) 7 Top Tips for a Happy Marriage!
Update: 9/27/21 | Updated: 6/7/24
Such great ideas. Thanks for linking up with "Not Just A Mom"
ReplyDeleteYes, we think Donna did a great job in sharing a few pointers on what she thinks will make a happy marriage. She's married over 25 years... wow. Thanks for sharing, Adrienne
DeleteWell with the exception of the 1st tip, I agree. I had my first child in my first year of marriage; 31 years later, we're still here.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from a linkup.
Congrats. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteWe have been married for 49 years and time apart...not for bad reasons...gives us time for individual interests and coming back together we share our day. It works for us! Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week is 7/51 T: Telling Self-Care Stories #1. 17.2.2020. Hope to see you there AND the next 10 prompts are on the home page now! Denyse.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteIt's so important to get off to a solid start!
ReplyDeleteSo true. The first year of marriage seems to be a rough start. Thanks for sharing
DeleteI agree with the point about waiting to have kids. Newlyweds need time to settle in to each other and get adjusted to their new life together. Adding kids in the 2nd or 3rd year is wise.
ReplyDeleteWe do agree that the first year of marriage can be hard. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteGreat tips for which I think is the hardest year in a marriage #alittldbitofeverything@_karendennis
ReplyDeleteSo true. Thaks for sharing.
DeleteMarriage will require being intentional to maintain connection. I have found it was worth every effort :)
ReplyDeleteYes, it's about being present at all times. Congratulations on your marriage. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteYes, Marriage is two imperfect people trying to make it work. And not just the first year, but all the years. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutly right that date night matters and setting a pattern for it early on is critical! Great to find you in the Grace and Truth Link UP!!!
ReplyDeleteAfter 38 years, I think we're finally "getting it!" Great post.
ReplyDeleteOh so true! My husband and I actually each have our own tube of toothpaste and our own drawer where we store them. But even after 23 years we make time for a date night at least once a month and from the time our kids were quite little often made sure to plan a weekend away just the 2 of us.
ReplyDeleteHey Friends. I'm popping back over to let you know I'm featuring your wonderful article at Sweet Tea & Friend's August Link-Up.
ReplyDelete{{Hugs}}
xo
Thank you for showcasing us once more, Paula! We really do appreciate it.
Delete