Here are Your 3 Things To-Do-List for A Happy Marriage
In this article, you will learn:
This picture was taken of my husband Dwight and I about a year after we were married in 1994 at my Church’s Banquet. As you can see, we were young then.
Here are some tips from an old married Woman (Dwight & I will be married 25 years this November 2018), as to what you may encounter after your first year of marriage and you’ve settled into your new lives together:
During the first year of marriage, you are adjusting to some of the following:
(They may seem frivolous, but it’s the little problems that can creep up and become BIG problems if you let them go and don’t take heed or discuss):
The To-Do-List For The First Year Of Marriage
- The Newlyweds and Children – I would suggest to any newly married couple NOT to have children right away, especially since the two of you are just getting adjusted to each other and trying to make it work. I would suggest discussing together how many children you want BEFORE marriage, as in "Pre-Marital Counseling" and how many years apart you want them to be, but I really would suggest maybe having children the 2nd – 3rd year of your marriage. When both of you are settled in, you can think of a game plan such as, HOW are you going to raise your children, what schools will they go to, etc? Very important!
- The Newlywed's guide to physical intimacy - Date Night – Even couples who have been married awhile NEED A DATE NIGHT! And the two of you just being married for a year, need to still DATE! So, pick a day, time, place and frequency for your special time together alone but out in public. You two might want to take in a movie, go to a restaurant, or just take a walk in the park as my husband and I do weekly! A walk in the park is GREAT and it’s free. We still hold hands after almost 25 years of marriage and we are still VERY much in love with each other! And you must still keep the home fires burning!
- The Newlyweds - His and Her Habits – After about the first year of wedded bliss, you will see exactly who you married as your spouse’s habits, whether good or bad (to YOU) will be evident. For instance, Before you were married, you basically did what YOU wanted and What made YOU happy. Now that you are married, everything Changes! And it’s Not just YOU now, but US!
For example, my husband squeezes the toothpaste from the bottom and I squeeze from the top! Little things like that, but YOU will see differences in each other, as I said in my previous blog post, that “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”! And no two people, even twins are Alike! So, YOU must adjust to your husband’s habits and vice-versa.
Another example is sleeping in the same bed at night. Depending on where the two of you live, say, if you live in Florida, where it is mostly warm or hot all the time, good for you! But here in Philly, where we have the seasons, I get cold easily and he gets hot easily and that’s a problem... He is a wild sleeper and takes all the covers, which I hate so I have an extra sheet/blanket at night when this happens! And that’s what Marriage is – two imperfect people who love each other, living in an imperfect world trying to make it work! But YOU get my point!
For reference, please check out the following books on Marriage:
“His Needs/Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” –
Willard F. Harley, Jr.
“Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desire; The Respect He Desperately Needs” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage” – Milan & Kay Yerkovich
I hope this gives YOU, an inkling of what it takes in YOUR first year of marriage to make it work!
Donna Haymes, Guest Blogger
Related: (previous post) 7 Top Tips for a Happy Marriage!