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7 Things That 24 Years of Marriage Have Taught ME!

Steps to Happily Ever After 💓😍

When you say “I do” to that special man in your life and after the wedding ceremony, as well as your fabulous honeymoon, with the family and friends gone you will realize it’s just the two of you – then what?

Well having been married for 24 years to the same man – Mr. Dwight Haymes (we tied the knot on November 13, 1993), I have a lot to say about being “happily ever after!”😍

Marriage is like baking a cake if you will. You, as the wife, are the sugar while your husband is the flour and your lives together are the other ingredients, such as the butter, eggs, etc. When you add all the ingredients, you have a delicious Cake! YUMMY! 🎂

I’ve heard it said by many marriage experts, such as John Gray that men are from Mars and women are from Venus! I say, “spot on!” We are all human beings but women and men don’t speak the same language a lot of times! There was a song a while ago with lyrics that said – “You say potato and I say patato, I say ‘tomato’ and you say ‘tamato,’potato, tamato, potato, patato – let’s call the whole thing off!” Let’s Not let that happen, please! You get my point!

So here are my 7 things to a happy marriage:

1. Love 
Warwick sang it best – “What the world needs now is love sweet love.” She was right too! If a Woman feels loved and appreciated by her husband, then she will be happy! Trust me, I do!

2. Respect 
Men need respect as much as women need love. A man in his home, if he doesn’t feel respected by his wife or children, will Not be happy. (Remember Venus and Mars?)

3. Communication 
two of you MUST communicate about things the two of you mutually share and things, events, etc. that you’re experiencing as individuals. Start with “how was your day” and end with “what are you feeling?” Let them tell you without interrupting as we all want to be heard and listened to. We, on the other hand, as women must ‘vent’ sometimes as to what we’re going through and how we’re feeling. We’re more emotional than the guys! I highly recommend “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Hartley, Jr. The author states that during courtship the guy will talk to his girlfriend for hours on end about his life and experiences to “win her.” Once he has “won her” and she is his wife, the guys shut down and think they don’t have to “share anymore,” to his wife’s horror! We need them to continue to talk to us!

4. Listening 
We as wives need our husbands to actively “listen” to us while we’re sharing. We don’t necessarily need them to “fix it” for us but just to show some concern and empathy, to care about what’s going on in our lives.

5. Good sex  
Yes, I did say it and it’s true. When you and your husband are both satisfied with your sex life, you’re happy!

6. Affection 
Not to be confused with sex, affection is non-sexual touching and kissing goes hand in hand with sex for us as women. We need hugs and kisses and told we’re beautiful and sexy by our husbands. Trust me, it works!

7. Recreational activity  
A couple needs to do things together outside of the home. My husband and I love to go grocery shopping together and walking in the park, holding hands. Taking a must needed vacation together can really energize your marriage.

Recommended books to read on marriage:
“His Needs, Her Needs” – Willard F. Hartley, Jr. | “How We Love” – Milan & Kay Yerkovich

Guest Blogger,
Donna Haymes

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